It’s pretty flipping fabulous that it’s not only a NEW decade, but people like me who were born in ’79 are entering their OWN personal NEW decade!!!! In fact there’s a LOT of people in the same boat…

if you were born at the end of a decade!!!

This is YOUR new decade!!!!!!

But wait. You get a grace year. To transition.

You see -last year when I was 40 I still felt like I was just at the end of my thirties…. and I still felt thirty something at heart. ???

But not anymore.

This is IT.

I am full fledge NOW in my effing 40’s.

I say that affectionately because I’m entering it in a way I NEVER EVER EVERRRRR IMAGINED. Only because when I was 30 I didn’t arrive there THIS gracefully.

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I was SCARED TO DEATH.

“Scared to death” ironically is something my dad wrote on a piece of paper 6 years ago. Right before he died.

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I entered 30 scared of what would happen in my thirties. I was already on “borrowed time” with moms health. She had a major stroke when she was 30 and again when she was 40. I was scared to death knowing that if she ever had another stroke she wouldn’t survive it. We all knew this. I was scared to death that I would have the same thing she had and have a stroke myself. And I was scared to death because I was already in very DEEP with fertility treatments. Something I WANTED TO DO. We couldn’t have kids on our own. Nothing was working. It was “unexplained infertility” they said. BUT…..I could tell this was possibly controversial or not completely 100% supported at the time…. including my parents. And I had always been a people pleaser to some degree- so I didn’t talk about it too much but in my heart I was scared I was doing something or possibly messing with the works of GOD or the Lords plan for my life.

I was an assistant principal in a large elementary school. I didn’t share it often….. but I was scared to death of “active shooters”, gunmen, mentally unstable people or anyone who entered my building who didn’t seem quite “right”.

Safety and security was my biggest concern.

ALWAYS.

But…….

What I have already learned to give up and leave behind in my thirties among MANY other THINGS…..

is

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CONTROL.

More on this. Only because I have learned so much. I just have to share….

Xo

Amy