I LEGIT never ever thought I would ever ever live anywhere other than Rochester, New York.

To this point;

I told my now husband when we were 20 years old and met in the Philadelphia airport that “this would probably not work out”.

He was from”Boston” and my home town was 400miles away. I was only “here” to play basketball, get my degree for “FREE” and GO HOME.

We lived in “my home” for 20 years and boy did he see a lot. I went from being the family gatherer and having my parents there as often as possible to burying my Dreams and navigating the ugly road.

The ugly road of grief. Suicide SURVIVOR and yes…. the ugly road of infertility, judgement, fear, and the worse of it all- Regret.

So with both my parents buried together in the same site- I realized QUICK without your parents this is hard. ReallyHARD.

I made it through for a while and”put on my big girl pants”.

But guess what? If you are anything like ME. And BOTH your parents are….Dead.

You change. Yup. You do. Because if you don’t you won’t survive.

You grew up your entire life and they were YOUr ROCKS. There for you in a HEART BEAT.

So without beating a dead horse-

I want to say this.

In high school. I learned to PIVOt. The ball was DEAD in my HANDS if I didn’t PIVOT.

Your entire life YOU want the ball. In your court. And I finally I had it allllllll lined up. But then the ball was DEAD. And unless I decided to PIVOT.

????

Guess what?

I die too.

And that’s not an option.

Not when you have 4 little babes who call you mommy.

So.

You pivot.

More to come on the pivot.

Xo