January 3, 2021…… today is my moms birthday and I think about allllll of the birthdays I got to spend with her. I decided today it was time to spread some of her ashes at a beach I used to go to all the time in college.

My mom LOVED the beach and she certainly passed that down to us. I drank some of her favorite drink, put on my old boots and went into the water.

I was shaking. I knew driving in that she was really with me because I had to stop my car dead in the street to let some dear pass ….and that was her sign.

Pouring some of her ashes into a special vase so I could spread them was what really made me shake. I am not exactly sure if it’s what she would have wanted because she never made any of those decisions….. but since I hold them now I got to decide. I’m pretty sure she would have laughed at me. We loved to laugh at ourselves so when a little bit fell on my pants I figured that was par for the course too. ?? sorry mom!

I will tell you that it made ME so happy. She deserves that. True happiness.

I have shed some hard tears this week for you mom but not one today on your birthday- (she’s absolutely not the type of lady who would want me to cry.)

She’s the type of lady who taught herself how to apply nail polish by holding the brush in her mouth because she couldn’t use her right side. A true WARRIOR and tonight she rests a little bit more in peace within the most beautiful and calming place on earth……

Love you momma and wish I could hold YOU today and everyday…..

until I can squeeze you again in person……cheers to another year?

Xo

Oh and you know how LOUD the ocean is right? For a moment everything stopped and it was silent. There wasn’t a wave going OUT or a wave crashing in…… it was only a little moment but it was breathtaking. ?