em•pow•er /verb/ to make someone stronger or more confident

When someone smiles at you. When someone winks at you. When someone throws a compliment your way. When someone holds your hand. When someone tells you how much you have helped them. When you win something. What are some things that make you feel like you’re on top of the world? What are some things that happen around you, to you, that make you feel stronger and more confident?

I think it’s important for all humans at every age to identify this for themselves.…..because as we age “it” changes. Things that we once had in place that may have been an extreme source of empowerment may not be there FOREVER. What happens to us when they are gone are predicted long before during the days of hard work that we put in building strength and confidence.

So what we do every day, every week, every year each decade of our lives is crucial to becoming and making it long and hard through the days where it feels like there is no end in sight and equally long and hard through the days when our hearts are broken.

Finding the source of what brings us happiness, especially as children, teens and early adults, helps us as individuals identify our foundation that will serve us well into our days throughout life and bring us strength. As much as we try to mold others and influence what will give them that confidence, it’s through pure EMPOWERMENT that we can guide other individuals on that path towards discovering it for themselves and within themselves so that the essential essence and pillar of confidence is INNATE. A framework that seems “fitting” for everyone else or a “mold” that seems right for your parents, your community or our society in general doesn’t necessarily explain what’s right or most fitting

for

you.

Period.

Remember that.

I wish I could say that there is a framework to guide you. I wish I could point you to the answers. I would love to tell you that it’s black and white, clear as day and even give you the playbook.

But I can’t.

No one can.

No one ever will……

and this my friend is where the real WORK comes in. It’s WITHIN the moments when you are alone inside your heart and head and you have to actually listen to……. your own heart and head. Failure to nourish your heart and head through neglect or lack of awareness HOW with self love can be detrimental as it builds up or more likely breaks you down.

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.

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Listen to yourself. Learn SELF-LOVE. Study yourself and what works and understand what doesn’t. Then PIVOT.

I believe that years of therapy have helped me discover so much in this area and I’ve become intrinsically reflective. It only makes sense that you would after years of session after session in sharing and hearing back what was shared and analyzing it so that at some point you have the ability to recognize it and honor it on your own. I think that’s why asking questions, slowing down, allowing oneself or others to “pause”, honoring the feelings that are occurring and then reflecting and discussing their meaning are all powerful elements for growth and EMPOWERMENT.

Study yourself. Learn and GROW and embrace what works and let go of everything else.

xo