I’m half way through the 21 days of feeding my empty soul through the most important lessons that stick out to me on the daily; unscripted.
If you have a topic or subject that you would love to hear me address in the “second half” please DM me so I can sit on it and figure out if I can put it into writing.
More than LIKELY the topic you yearn is something I can relate to or at the very least help you navigate because we are never ever alone on our journeys as they may not completely coincide in their entirety there may be connection, peace and direction derived from a similar path that you find relatable.
We may be alone but never “alone” is a hard concept to grasp but knowing that the yearning to find someone or anyone that remotely understands or can listen and lend support in any capacity is powerful.
/verb/ cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority.
SURRENDER by definition; surrender “alone”
I think one of the greatest fears in life is being “alone”. Never falling in love. Never getting married. Never having a child. Losing a parent. Losing a child. Losing a spouse.
Living alone.
Dying alone.
Being alone in the dark.
Being alone in a parking garage.
Being alone in a thunder storm.
Being alone in jail.
Being alone in a car accident.
Alone
When you think about it…..
Every time that you are stretched to be “alone” from your earliest age of your survival on earth you are being challenged to find a way to comfort yourself and make it so that being “alone” in whatever capacity you are in can work out for YOU.
::You’re alone in your crib,
::you cry,
::you wait,
::and you realize you are alone so you cry a little louder.
Let’s face it……you were put on this earth alone. Not one other person or thing can crawl inside of your skin, your heart or your head and BE YOU.
So ……from day 1,
You are unapologetically learning HOW to comfort and console yourself.
But then the reality of your environment begins to shape your thoughts AND HOW YOU REACT FROM EACH POINT THERE AFTER.
Your heart might need one thing, but because of the world that’s shaping you, your mind might become confused.
You KNOW what you need.
You ALWAYS knew in your heart what you needed.
But, because it wasn’t always clear to those around you and because of the environment that began to shape you, it was no longer BLACK AND WHITE to you in the practice of your existence in “being alone”.
The mind is tricked up. The mind is going back and forth between what the heart wants and needs for YOU verses what everyone else around you thinks and shares and says that your heart should want and need.
Some of us are “shaped”.
Some of us are “puppets”.
Some of us go on to lead a bad ass life of rejecting everything anyone ever says anyways to be good for us so it doesn’t matter.
But THE comes the day,
no matter what your past looked like, where yet again…….
You.
ARE.
Alone.
No one gets YOU. No one sees YOU. No one “knows” what YOU are going through or can see or feel what YOU are feeling.
…..and everyone just…….moves on.
They “forget” that you are stuck or don’t want to just “move on”. But they don’t stay there with YOU. They aren’t YOU. You are alone my friend.
Surrender 101: the sooner you recognize that you are in this space and time, you will acknowledge that yes you are alone and there is only one person that can “unstuck” you.
Only one mind and one heart that can help YOU put one foot in front of the other.
Surrender yourself as soon as possible so that you don’t miss out on what’s supposed to happen next……..
…..you do not need to move ON. You don’t have to worry about tomorrow. Just work on RIGHT NOW.
That’s all.
•The dead person you are missing doesn’t want you wasting your precious time on missing them. Trust me they feel honored that you do- that they meant so much to you.
BUT SURRENDER yourself.
The thing you lost. The job. The house. The dream. The boyfriend.
SURRENDER yourself.
Get comfortable honoring that it’s gone. Tell your mind. Your thoughts. Your heart.
BUT THEN…… acknowledge that you are alone and only YOU can open yourself up to accepting what will come from being in that space alone. You can stay alone in that space or you can look for help after you acknowledge that you have to help yourself. Your heart needs help. Your head needs help. Your body needs help….. and that’s totally acceptable and very reasonable to ask of yourself. This is YOU. Your journey. Your life. Your story.
Try NOT to resist it.
Work with it.
Make peace with it………
And be kind to yourself because this takes age,
Time,
practice
and YEARS
and YEARS of recognizing AND PERHAPS undoing or reshaping and then realizing that in the HEAT of being alone there are actually others out there who have been there too. Yes, you ARE alone, but it’s up to you on how you choose to surrender your heart and head.
Surrender and heal.
Trust the Universe my friend.
It’s your journey.
Keep going.
Don’t apologize if you constantly need reminders.
Don’t apologize if you fall down, again.
In fact you will fall down many times in this lifetime.
And that is OK but you better get back up. Sometimes it looks a little slower -but we always get back up. (That’s what we learn during those times of being alone.)
It’s too bad that at a very early age we aren’t assigned a “mentor” or a “life coach”.
Someone other than a family member or a coach or a friend but an actual PERSON that helps you navigate through LIFE.
Some people will pause right here and tell you that it’s God or Jesus or a temple that helps you navigate THROUGH LIFE. It’s really a bonus when these people see us through different phases, stages, ups and downs and ALSO knows our baseline.
….FYI…..I am not about to go there with religion,
BUT this IS where I AM going to take you on this post;
the path and journey of being
A
L
O
N
E
.
.
.
It’s a space.
It’s a stillness.
It’s the room your heart and head take up when no one else is there. It’s the chatter that you hear.
The truths.
The lies.
AND The tricks your MIND plays that we are not equipped to handle on our own because we haven’t had the practice of navigating it ALONE.
As a parent we are often quick to “FIX”.
We offer or give solutions and sometimes we don’t let the little humans sit with IT (the feeling) for enough time to really feel what it is and to allow themselves time to think for themselves which way to go next with it.
We intervene oftentimes very quickly and offer up solutions sometimes minimizing the authenticity and the reality of what is really happening in their heart and head.
I grew up in a super loving household but due to the nature and severity of what was happening around me- my reality……my feelings and emotions were shut down, minimized, discounted and I was forced at an early age to
get your shit together.
As I write these blogs, I envision my parents reading them out there in the universe.
I am ok with what they read.
I am also writing these for my children and grandchildren. I want to help them understand and have a better awareness of their heart and mind.
AND IF it helps some others along the way…..
Then I have achieved my purpose in life
You aren’t a bad person or a weak person if you are struggling sometimes or even every day with your heart and head. You actually are alone in your heart and head ….. don’t misconstrue this.
No One else can get inside your heart and head but trust me there is a reason for your current heart and head condition and I am here to honor it. To help you honor it. To acknowledge it IN YOU and then find ways to help your heart and head.
Are you alone? Are you with me on this?
XO
Amy
To Be Continued…….
Changing Lives One Day at a Time and One Face at a Time
