For the first time in over 10 years I’m entering a holiday season when I can check off this holiday wish list.
Let me repeat. For the FIRST TIME in over 10 years.
Ouch. What does this mean?
The holidays are supposed to be about joy, happiness, togetherness, laughing, giving, gratitude, etc etc etc RIGHT?
Our society has conditioned so many of our hearts to shame ourselves if we aren’t appreciative, thankful for what we HAVE, and/or focusing on what we don’t have. So people at a very YOUNG age are almost taught to “fix” that mindset and we are quick to want to “fix it” for them.
So what happens as these people age and they perhaps don’t have the pillars in their life to get them through those patches of terrible feelings?
They look around them and feel like everyone is handling it better and able to work through things and then the person feels STUCK in a place where they don’t think anyone gets it, understands, or will even want to be around them or accept them for being in that place.
So they pull it together, yet again, or find coping mechanisms to help blur the pain, dull the pain, or forget the pain.
I chose early on to try not to let my kids in on being my life coach. I love my mom dearly, and I loved her tremendously while she was walking this earth, but from an early age I now recognize that I was her life coach. She shared with me pain and physical struggle more than anyone in my family and she cried all the time. She needed much more support than she was ever given. It just wasn’t a resource for her and her thoughts were often just that “I’m lucky to be alive”.
My dad told me from an early age that when someone is very sick, sometimes it’s the family that suffers more than the actual person.
….I NEVER EVER understood what he meant from that.
Almost 44 years old and now I get it.
…the family suffers more…
I get it now. And it makes me sick. It makes me sick that decades went by. Damage was done. And no one got the support.
Not to pat myself on the shoulders here but this is my point.
I was the ONLY one who was on medication from my early 20s on. I was the only who started seeing a therapist in college and that was ONLY because it was FREE for student athletes and I was crumbling.
People didn’t get it then.
People still don’t get it now.
And if you are reading this and get it…. here is my holiday wish for YOU.
Get.
Help.
Don’t shame yourself. Don’t TRY to be strong for others. Don’t guilt yourself into trying all kinds of coping mechanisms without fail.
It will leave you feeling hopeless. Feeling alone.
Feeling like you are the only one in this world who can’t get their s&it together.
You aren’t the only one.
But you need some help.
🤍🫶🏼💓
#988
988 has been designated as the new three-digit dialing code that will route callers to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (now known as the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), and is now active across the United States.
When people call, text, or chat 988, they will be connected to trained counselors that are part of the existing Lifeline network. These trained counselors will listen, understand how their problems are affecting them, provide support, and connect them to resources if necessary.
The previous Lifeline phone number (1-800-273-8255) will always remain available to people in emotional distress or suicidal crisis.
The Lifeline’s network of over 200 crisis centers has been in operation since 2005, and has been proven to be effective. It’s the counselors at these local crisis centers who answer the contacts the Lifeline receives every day. Numerous studies have shown that callers feel less suicidal, less depressed, less overwhelmed and more hopeful after speaking with a Lifeline counselor.
And GOD BLESS all of our first responders. The fire fighters, volunteer ambulance drivers, the police officers, and hospital staff, the therapists and counselors trying to help in the middle of their own life’s challenges.
🤍