Tag Archives: PEACE

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Managing Peace

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Today I had coffee with my mom.

For the last 18 months I slipped away from sharing this blog but I can tell you that I have learned MORE in the past 18th months than I ever could have imagined and its quite possibly the greatest blessing I could have ever received. I have decided that there is too much to share NOT to share…

Before kids I used to drive to my parents house on Saturday mornings and have coffee with my mom. I also showed up at their house all the time just to be near her.   I talked to her on the phone 3-4 times a day. It always started around 8:00 in the morning. Even Matt got so used to the calls that even he “knew” when it was Trudy calling ME on the other end.

4 years ago this day my dad called me at sunrise to tell me that she had passed. I remember that morning drive back to the hospital for the very last time like it was yesterday. I honestly thought I was going to have a few more days left with her. I even thought it was possible I would have a couple of weeks left with her. It was surreal to think that she really was no longer alive and I couldn’t begin to imagine what I was going to see for the very last time. As much as I raced to get there I remember walking in as if my feet were attached to the cement. As I walked closer to her room the staff had placed a blue butterfly on her doorframe to notify those around her of her passing.

When I walked in- she took my breath away.

There she was. She was still. She was asleep. She was gone.

As I cried out loud “ohhh mom……” I sat down next to her, I weeped and wrapped my arms around what was left of the warmth in her body for the very last time.

More often than not I feel like only a part of me is really present on this earth since her death because my world has continued to get jolted around. There is no other way to describe it other than being tossed around in the middle of the ocean. Fortunately I made the choice to swim towards the shoreline and when it was in sight, I was also able to realize that by trusting in God and by trusting the journey, I was provided with an anchor. This continually keeps me from getting swept back to sea and losing sight of the shoreline. Along the way, there have been at least a dozen people who inevitably were meant to cross my path during this time in my life. Each one of them has thrown me a life preserver when the waves got choppy and encouraged me to keep swimming. Some days the waters are rough and other days they are as smooth as glass.

Peaceful, calming and still.

Those are the days I can catch my breath and recapture my strength so I can continue to swim.

I plan on sharing more about what I’ve learned because I whole-heartedly believe in sharing with the universe much like it has shared with me. It has been nothing like I ever could have imagined. But, I continue to trust that this is exactly where I am supposed to be.

Today, I had coffee with my mom.

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Finding Inner Peace

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It seems most appropriate that I would be sitting down to blog this on Christmas night. With a candle, my moms favorite drink and the magic of the holiday season and peace on earth.
If it seems like you haven’t heard from me in a while, it’s because you haven’t.  I had to get through these holidays. Again. Only this time, with the reality of what my life has become.  Last year I was VERY pregnant and wondering how on earth I was going to give birth to my 4th baby on the same floor I lost my mom on.  I hadn’t been to that hospital, let alone THAT floor since the day I saw her pass. How could I feel any sense of peace? I couldn’t.  Last year was by far the hardest year.  The year before happened so quick that I was just in shock. Watching both my parents leave this earth in two very different circumstances 4 months apart left me having experienced what I can only hope and pray are the worst experiences of my life.  It left me at a heightened sense of inner turmoil.  Anyone who has been there can certainly relate.  And anyone who hasn’t, read on and make sure you take note.  Because the bottom line, is that IT IS LIFE. And everyone, at some point, will have their inner peace completely shaken.  More than likely it will happen again. Maybe even again.  But….
As you already know, this year has been a year of new beginnings for me. And it started with the birth of my baby boy, Brady on January 2. This year was a year of healing, acceptance, growth, renewal, and I believe I can say this now…. INNER PEACE.
Maybe I have found it.   MY Inner peace.  It wasn’t without God – my faith in God- or the countless numbers of friends and family who have supported me throughout my journey.
Inner peace is a strength everyone needs to make sure is in “check” at all times throughout their life.  If it isn’t one of your strengths, you need to make it one of your strengths. Now. Today. This year.  Maybe it can be your goal for 2016.
How? For starters- I believe that inner peace must start with happiness in oneself from within. You cannot rely on anyone- not ANYONE but YOURSELF- to make you happy.  If you aren’t happy, you have to find out what makes you happy. Don’t wait for it to come to you, go out there and get it. All the happiness you can find. Get it.
That sounds too rosy cheeky easy because the truth is that many people- too MANY people are in pain.  They are hurt. Broken. Run down.  Speaking from experience- don’t let that take you down.  Every DAY EVERYONE has a choice. It doesn’t take much to go out there into the real world and realize real quick the blessings you DO have in your life.  YOU HAVE A CHOICE.
But the secret, is acknowledging that what ails you is REAL. You cannot fight it. You cannot sweep it under the carpet.  You cannot push it away. In fact, if you try do to that, if you ignore it, it will only come back more fierce and knock you down even harder.
Acknowledge that pain.  That panic. Any uncertainty.  Any question. Any loss of hope. And put it in a place where you can attend to it and nurture it.  Then, count your blessings. Remind yourself and thank the Lord above for what you DO have.
Most importantly. Soothe your soul. Soothe.  Funny how the terminology that has moved me through this year comes from only my absolutely FAVORITE premium skincare products. ???
Seek to soothe your soul, strike balance and create inner peace-
It’s up to you to pursue it and give it everything you’ve got because tomorrow isn’t a guarantee —–but today is a GIFT.
Come to peace. Meditate. Pray. Smile. Spend time with people who make you feel loved. Who make you laugh. Who support you and help you grow.
Peace. Inner peace.  You owe it to yourself and EVERYONE around you- to find that peace so that your inner beauty and the best version of YOURSELF shines through daily.
 PEACE.
~Amy
You can follow me @myjourneyamy
Blog Post About Me

Finding Inner Harmony

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Adversity makes you stronger.

The next 3 messages are going to focus on:

Inner strength.

Inner peace.

Inner beauty.

Today I spent some time in the Fertile Grounds Cafe.  I saw and hugged Dr. Kiltz, the doctor that helped create Eva and Jack after years of unexplained infertility that included 10 failed IUIs and 4 failed IVFs.  Looking back now, were they really failures or was that in God’s plan all along?

He asked me what it could have been. I shrugged my shoulders and could only come up with the first thing that came to mind… Stress.
RJ Journey

 

That 5 years of “unexplained infertility” was a diagnoses at the time that offered us no direction for specific treatment other than textbook trial and error.  But it was during that journey that I learned more about myself and what I thought I could handle and little did I know that it would help me become a survivor down the road.

It was the tools I learned, just like in education or any profession that continue to serve me well.  It was the yoga, the acupuncture, the Chinese herbs, the essential oils, the Reiki, the breath, the sounds, the prayer and the meditation that bring me life…..and bring me inner strength, inner peace and inner beauty.